Should You Try a Separation Before Getting Divorced?

Divorce rarely comes out of nowhere. In many cases, the spouses understand that something is wrong in their marriage well before either of them file for divorce. One way couples seek to overcome these issues is through marriage counseling, which works in some cases but not in all. Another way is to try a separation — that is, remain legally married but live physically separate from each other. If you’re considering a trial separation before beginning the divorce process, a Stockton divorce attorney can counsel you on the best way forward. 

Is Separation Required in California? 

Some states require married couples to live apart from each other for a certain amount of time before they may file for divorce, but California is not one of them. Couples may file for divorce the same day one or both of them decides that divorce is the best option. However, California family law does require a six-month waiting period before a divorce may be finalized. It also offers formal legal separation, which differs from trial separation. 

Pros and Cons of a Trial Separation Before Divorce

You and your spouse are the only ones who can decide whether trying a separation is in your family’s best interest. However, there are several pros and cons to trial separations. Some of the pros are: 

• Allowing married couples to live apart while still enjoying the benefits of marriage (e.g., tax benefits, health insurance, etc.) 
• Giving the couple a “trial run” at divorce to see how it affects both their personal lives and their relationship with each other
• Lessening the emotional burden of divorce on children 
• Continuation of the authority of each spouse to make medical or financial decisions for each other 
• Providing an opportunity for reconciliation, as the space gives each spouse time to work out their own issues 

Of course, there are also a few cons associated with trial separations, such as: 

• Inability to marry someone else, as the spouses are still legally married
• Continued entanglement of personal finances (a major issue if finances are the reason for the relationship troubles) 
• Increased risk of infidelity (again, a major issue if there is a history of infidelity in the relationship) 
• Risk that the trial separation will not solve the problem that led to it (such as in cases where domestic violence or substance abuse are at issue) 
• Can still cause complications if children are involved, such as where the children will live and attend school, which parent will pay child support, and how visitation will be handled

Couples considering a trial separation should weigh each of these pros and cons (as well as any others they identify) when making their decision. 

Discuss Your Options With a Stockton Divorce Attorney 

Separation can help some couples work out their differences, but it is not suitable in all cases. If you’re considering a separation or divorce, you should discuss your options with an experienced attorney who can help you decide what will be best for you. To get started, please contact a Stockton divorce attorney at McKinley, Conger, Jolley & Galarneau by using our online form or calling us at 209-477-8171.